Note: All women aren't inherently insane. (I don't think so...)
So, as I sit in Whispers and see a beautiful black woman that reminds me of missed opportunities, i reflect upon the women I have interacted with in the past. Anyone who has seen my Tweets today may see that I ran into a former fling that was pretty evil...like, on some, "let me tell this other girl who threatens me shit that could make her want to kill herself" evil. I actually call her Dr. Evil...or the Indian Mini-Me...she's about the same size.
So, I started thinking about the last few women I've messed with and have broken them down into Archetypes of Crazy Individuals I've encountered and been strangely attracted to.
1) The Body
Okay, let's be real...all the psycho-crapulent-bibble-babble of political correctness and such won't stop me from saying that I love a woman's body. Breast are second to none except the almighty ass. I know, I probably killed someone's self-esteem and for that I'm (Almost) sorry. But back to the substance, The Body will make you do some crazy things. They can have NO personality, but The Body will make you think that her body is worth all the trouble that comes with her. Then you finally talk to her and realize that the teapot your boiled water in had more substance than her. (A lot of bodies have a face like the Mule...remember, always look up before embracing The Body)
2) Ms. Philosophy
Ever met that lady that makes you feel...challenged? (That really means you met that lady that makes you feel dumb but you say challenged because you want to feel better about yourself.)
So, they have substance...not much else, but you don't care because dating her makes it look like you're not shallow. Ms. Philosophy knows Kant, Rawls, and Mills and will hit you with every bit of Tyler Perry/ Rev Run Wisdom she can to make you feel like you're not doing enough in life...daily. Oh, the last few Ms. Philosophys I've dated (or...actually...said "hi" to) have all tried to stalk me in some way. Whether it's documenting all my actions to turn it into some form of "sweet" poetry that is randomly found in my inbox to locking me in a room and yelling at me until their face turns blurple, i've seen it all.
3) Mrs. I-Pray-Right
...I'll keep this one brief: No fun, no conversation, no sex. Religion is great. I am a devout Christian...but c'mon, there's a lot to talk about in this world.
So, I started looking over this and realized something. These types of women that have come into my life are nuts. They all lead to stressful relationships and stories that, albeit are funny in your guy groups, always leave a bitter taste in your mouth. We all have that group that we just think is inherently crazy and can cause us a lot of problems because we've run into crazies before.
But another issue I'm presented with is why do I find these types of women attractive? Why is it that I can settle on a particular aspect and be okay with a maximization of that aspect while neglecting the rest? I think that we have this idea implanted into our head that we're not going to find the best because, well, it isn't out there. We need to take what we can and keep it moving. If we don't, we're single. (And we all know that if we're single, we're not happy. Ask your friends. Especially your coupled up friends. They'll all say "Enjoy being single" while looking around nervously...they don't buy that shit as much as you do.)
Why are we so pressed to be coupled up that we'll settle for these monstrosities who's sole purpose is to tear our hearts and our minds from their homes and place them in their teeth? Is being in a relationship worth all that? I dunno, bro, I dunno.
2 comments:
Ha! If you, consciously or subconsciously, categorize all women into archetypes, you'll never find one that stands out. And when you do run accross a well-balanced, philosophical, Christian woman with a banging body, I wouldn't want you to miss out on her, but you couldn't have her with this current state of mind. One, she wouldn't put up with it, and two, you would be all discombobulated if your expections of women (for dating purposes) are as low as they seem.
And you know I absolutely love you and am greatly appreciative of "They're Not All Bad" but you know I'm going to challenge you as well. What is it about the girlfriends that you date and how they differ from the girl-friends on your list? (I read friend/family as your relationship status from each of the females on the list.) We all challenge you in different ways, we all have different faces and body types, and we all have different beliefs about God and spirituality. Yet we're the ones on this abbreviated list of females that you cherish and appreciate. So what is it about females that you find yourself attracted to them, but can't give you satisfaction in ways that your friends can? It's not fair to "kill someone's self-esteem" and label females as monstrosities if the problem with these women is a reflection on what you find to be attractive. It serves no purpose but to give guys something semi-amusing to read and compel me to comment at the risk of seeming over-reactive.
Do you suggest of a viable solution to your predicament of insane women? Is "I dunno bro" good enough for you?
SMH, if you wanna take a joke and projected it to the rest of my life, so be it.
As for the question at the end:
"They say the first step to recover is to admit."
I'll figure the rest out later. (Not like I'll be getting into any relationships in the near future anyway, lol)
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