Fourth Thursday

You know those people that you can bet money on never being able to find a mate because they have no spine? In class, they are worse. Rocking a goofy smile and confused eyes, anytime the teacher or another student questions their position, they simply agree with a bass-heavy "Uh, yeah." They tend to have high grades, though, so I guess i'm hating. They also will say shit that makes no sense as to not come across as a "Yes-Man." Anytime they speak, I just shake my head while saying under my breath "I still get more than you..."

I Know, I shouldn't call them hos...but let's be honest, some of these people in your class are on that Walt Whitman tip (I am vast, I contain multitudes). Like, you see them in class, shaking in self-hatred while the night before, you saw them eyeballing a new set of gonads to place perpendicular to their nose. The funny thing is that they have an advantage in class...they're very sensory and use very provocative allusions to make their point...and no one of the opposite sex will counter those examples because, well, everyone is hoping to be the next one to put their children under her eyelids. Yo, I always find it funny how these enlightened hos can cite sources that are supposed to make their hoing become socially acceptable and spiritual. Like, "I'm not a ho, I'm just in tune with my multitudes of sexual partners and I'm liberated from the social constraints of sexual purity. I have transcended my gender roles and you should not judge me..." which can all be translated to "scut." Scores high with male teachers and low with females...haters.

...First off, how many libertarians do you actually know? I'll answer it for you, one. Basically, being a libertarian means that you like no one taking your opinion seriously and that you are perfectly content with being compared to the sugar-water eater from men in black because of your brutish simplicity. In class, they are firestarters, comparing everything to communist Russia and slavery while simultaneously reaping the benefits of financial aid to be at the university that allows them to bitch and moan about every single governmental policy. And how does a discussion about gender roles in latin america turn into discussions about how the government shouldn't take taxes? Teachers don't give the libetarian grades because, quite frankly, they don't exist.

This is the one who asks 1 billion questions every class because they think that it boosts their grade. What starts out as honestly seeking guidance becomes attention grubbing. If the teacher says "This started in Florida." You shouldn't need to ask "Do you mean the state south of Georgia?" (Shouts to all the negroes who got confused when I said Georgia. Y'know, the state with Atlanta. Remember, Atlanta is not a state, simple negroes)

Y'know the one that reads the optional readings in class. Looks shit up and comes in acting like they are the most prepared every class...Well, they are, but still, do you really need to look up the etymology of a key word for every class? Also, is all you do class? Aren't you missing out on a good part of college life? Go outside, meet some people, put the book down, let me come up and get a better grade, you selfish bastard.

Those are my 5. Got any others to add to the list?