In sperm banks across America, thousands upon thousands of men are turned away daily because of several "defects." You can be turned away because of a low sperm count, a sign of infertility. You can be turned away because of physical disabilities or for being deformed. You can be turned away for having a mental disability. And, you can be turned away for being too short.
And by too short, I don't mean 4'5" or something. The acceptable height for a sperm donor is 5'8" or above. If you have any one of the defects listed, you are considered "Undesirable"
Funny thing about the process: They give a personality test. Sometimes, the person who controls the test is instructed to reject people who have an undesirable personality...but they tend to accept people with piss-poor personalities because their physical desirability is so high.
Guess what, my 5'7" and below brothas! You're defective! You're natural genetic code has been deemed a deformity, and through practices like this, it's being handled. Be proud, you've become an undesired minority in a world of skyscraper males and the females who are taught to look up instead of right in front of them!
What I find funny is that personality comes so far after looks in a time when political correctness is supposed to make us think that the opposite is true. (I guess the funniest thing is that height is considered harmful to one's looks.) In the end, though, it makes sense. People will always say what's politically correct as long as they can still act as honest to their hearts (read: libidos) as possible.
Well, I'm here to represent for my short folk, who are persecuted everyday. Whether its the realm of relationships or the realm of business (which aren't very separate worlds, I'll have you know), we short people are tired of being treated like creatures to be tossed aside for your own selfish gains. We will not become an afterthought in your eugenic genocide of our people! Short people, get on a chair and STAND UP!
As a short person:
1) I demand shirts that fit my size without falling to my knees!
2) I demand the same level of respect and possible upward mobility as my taller counterparts in the workplace.
3) I am tired of hearing the political correct jargon of acceptance and willingness from lying women who refuse to acknowledge my identity as a man, instead acknowledging me as a kid.
4) I am tired of my good leadership abilities being attributed to a Napoleon complex.
5) You will NOT use me as an armrest unless I am allowed to thunderpunch you in the genitalia.
6) I am tired of people thinking that because you can literally look down on me, you can figuratively look down on me.
7) I refuse to be called little brother when I'm fucking older than you.
8) I am just as capable at any act as someone who is a few inches taller than me.
9) I demand a reevaluation of worth based on aesthetics. Just because I'm half your size doesn't mean that my worth is half yours.
10) I demand acknowledgement that, as a short person, I am treated different by a society that prizes height. This is especially apparent in the black community, with a higher average height. I am rightfully disappointed in a race that has been socially marginalized since being in this country for taking part in the marginalization of people who fall just short of the national average height.
I hold this truth to be self-evident: All people are created equal. It's just sad that I have to stand on a stage for you all to notice it.
1 comments:
1. Perform this or some version of.
2. Ugly people, big girls, extra dark people, involuntarily bald people, dumb people and everyone else gets shat on some way or another, take a number. We are often very cruel to each other. And no matter how much people are cruel to us, we tend to treat people the way we are treated instead of the way we wish to be treated. Unfortunate, but true.
3. You're your little brother's big brother (and mine). That's all the matters.
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